Losing Out to a Giant Cupcake

Remember that old expression, “be careful what you wish for?” That’s the position we found ourselves in once we actually created a two minute infomercial for The Secret Keeper, aka The Racktrap.

Testing any new product in Direct Response TV is always a challenge, but fourth quarter 2009 was twice as challenging because ad time was expensive and there were few remnant (leftover/unsold) spots to buy. The infomercial itself was great (and I’m not just saying it because of my “blink and you missed it” cameo). The networks that were subsequently purchased to run those spots were another story. But we had made a deal with our DRTV partner and we had to trust their media buying experience, so we stifled our mouths (tough for us to do!) and waited to see the spot magically appear during the “media test” (i.e. when the spot runs a limited number of times on a limited number of networks to gage consumer reaction and orders.)

Once we knew the test details, we sent out massive email blasts asking our friends, family, acquaintances, crushes, frenemies, Facebook stalkers and anyone else we could think of, to do a sista a favor and order the Secret Keeper. And we know they did because we got emails from hundreds of people complaining about the multitude of additional items offered (it’s called an upsell, people) and the additional shipping costs, all designed to increase the average order amount. Apparently, there’s some magical formula that calculates cost per spot and average order value that decides whether a media test is a success. But math has never been my strongpoint - I’m a publicist for heaven’s sake, not a rocket scientist.

So we waited to see the spot. And waited. And waited some more. And while we waited I kept seeing the infomercial for the Giant Cupcake, the size of someone’s head. Finally someone called us to say that they had seen the Secret Keeper spot on Fox Business Network, not a channel that I would normally associate with the female demographic. Someone else saw it on Hallmark Movie Channel once (and I corroborated, having had my TIVO working overtime). And still, the Giant Cupcake spot ran circles around us, appearing at least once every five minutes on every network I watched, including Nickelodeon, the holy grail.

Despite the fact that everyone we knew ordered a set of Secret Keepers (and by a set, I mean nine – since the offer was “we will triple the order!!”), we were told that the initial test results were less than overwhelming.

A little background here: statistically speaking, 75% of products that test on DRTV don’t succeed. So we weren’t totally shocked to hear that the initial test wasn’t a slam dunk. Based on the cost of media and the networks selected for the test, we knew that it was a long shot. And we knew that we had an amazing product, assuming we could actually get it in front of the eyeballs that were connected to the boobs in need of Racktraps. Ummm, I mean Secret Keepers.

So we started making suggestions to our partner that we test other networks that were more in tune with our demographic: Lifetime, WE, Oxygen and BET. After all, our sales spiked dramatically after Wendy Williams featured us. But alas, we were told no to all these suggestions.

After another week of waiting as the final results for the limited media test were tabulated, we were given the news that the Secret Keeper fell into the 75% of products that aren’t a fit for DRTV.

And just like we got the green light for the DRTV deal while we were travelling on business in the Dominican Republic, we got the red light while Karen was in the Dominican Republic again (I know, boo hoo for Karen) and Marla was back in LA. So I had to have the wrap-up/post-op meeting with the DRTV partner all by myself. It was like breaking up with a hot guy- you knew that it wasn’t going to work out but you had to do it anyway.

So in the end, we broke up but stayed friends. While we may not have agreed with the idea of changing the product name to a more homogenous version and may not have selected the same networks for the media test, ultimately we gave up the right to make those decisions when we signed the deal. And we understood and accepted the situation. 

So ironically, the Giant Cupcake made it into the bosom of the American public instead of the Secret Keeper.

But even though we were bested by a Giant Cupcake (which later tormented me by appearing on the shelves of every damn store during the Christmas/Hanukah season), we knew that this was only a bump in the Racktrap road and we vowed to regroup and figure out our next steps.