Surviving Marriage to an Entrepreneur - The Buck Stops Here February 2010

In honor of Valentine’s Day, NY Report is taking a look at the subject of love, relationships, and entrepreneurship. While marriage may not be easy for any couple, add the stress and hectic schedule of owning a small business, and marriage becomes more of a challenge. A few local entrepreneurs—and some spouses—shared their secrets for finding marital bliss. 

“Since my husband and I are both entrepreneurs, and I had more experience than he did, he wanted me to help him with his business. But I decided early on that I’d rather be a wife than a secretary. I decided not to be involved in his business so I could be active in our marriage. We do, however, bounce ideas off of each other, which is good since entrepreneurs think differently than non-entrepreneurs. We use each other as a sounding board. We also make a conscious effort on weekends to spend family time together to help maintain the balance of our hectic schedules.”
—Josephine Geraci, My Mom Knows Best, Inc., Suffolk County, Long Island, and wife of Chris Geraci, owner of Restaurant Equipment & Design Solutions, Inc.

“I’ve learned being married to an entrepreneur is extremely challenging. One thing I’ve learned that has really helped the relationship is to give encouragement to my spouse and help her keep her options open in terms of business opportunities. I show encouragement by finding out about new networking opportunities that she might benefit from—there are plenty in NYC. And, when your spouse is on top of the world, celebrate with her.”
 —Keith Brown, lawyer for the NYC Law Department (Bronx Family Court), Bronx, NY, and husband of DeAnne Merey, president and founder of NYC-based DM Public Relations

“One thing my wife and I sometimes struggle with is communication. In the last year, we began linking our Gmail calendars. My entire work schedule is on my calendar, so my wife sees it; or if one of our sons has a basketball game, I am able to see that. It’s also a balancing act. If I have early meetings three mornings in a week, I try to stick around another day during that week to help my wife get the kids ready and on the bus.” 
—Tristan Welling, founder of FASTSIGNS of the Hudson Valley, Wappingers Falls, NY, and husband of Maggie Welling

“I didn’t sign on for my husband’s hours at the beginning of our marriage, so I had to learn to become flexible. I’ve made dinner a priority so we can find out what’s going on in the lives of our kids. I don’t expect my husband to be able to attend every single social event we are invited to, but there are some that are mandatory, like recitals and basketball games. We also try to have at least two date nights each month (we just went to a 311 concert), so getting a baby sitter is another priority.”
—Maggie Welling, “CEO of the Welling household,” Wappingers Falls, NY, and wife of Tristan Welling, founder of FASTSIGNS of the Hudson Valley, Wappingers Falls, NY

 “When your spouse suggests ideas for a new businesses or endeavor, you have to wear two hats. You must be objective and cautious since the no-go decision could have a major impact on both of your lives. On the other hand, you must be supportive and constructive. An entrepreneur is often so emotionally tied to their venture that they associate its success or failure with their self-worth. Entrepreneurs tend to be tough-skinned in business, but not necessarily at home. So, you have to walk a fine line. With two entrepreneurs in the marriage, it’s double the mayhem—it’s an emotional and financial rollercoaster. Get interested and involved with your spouse’s ventures by using your strengths to help. I am more logic-based and my wife has the charisma, so I’ll help her add more logic-based information into her presentations, for example. You cannot be competitive either. If you care about entrepreneurship, it’s amazing and fun to be married to an entrepreneur.”
—David Ronick, UpStartAdvisors.com, NYC, and husband of Jenene Ronick, founder and CEO of Luxury Attaché

“Every Sunday after breakfast, my wife and I synch our calendars and talk about upcoming events. In years past, we didn’t do this and ran into problems. It’s also important to let your spouse have latitude in what they’re doing and let them do what they need to do, even if it interferes a bit with your life. Try to stay focused on the end result. For example, my wife owned and operated a few different companies in the past and recently decided to become a stand-up comic, which she is doing great at. Every year, we start with our goals and what we want to accomplish for the year so we can both get a correct expectation of what’s to come. We also revisit those goals a few months in.”
—Tom Scarda, franchise owner, FranChoice Consultant & Coach, Wantagh, Long Island, and husband of Gina Scarda, stand-up comic